Nothing Changes

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Change is a constant.  Change is inevitable.  Change is good.  (Sometimes change is bad or at least feels bad in the moment.)  We hear these things all the time.

But what about the stuff that never changes… even when you think it will because you’ve worked for thousands of hours, you’ve shed blood, sweat and tears (literally and figuratively), and you wanted that change so damn bad?

You know, like the creative process.

I’ve wanted the creative process to be easier ever since I became aware that there was a creative process.  I think this realization came about when I was 12 or 13 and started writing songs.  Prior to that awareness (and this is the case for most people I know) - I just made stuff in a total state of bliss, unencumbered by all the insecurity and frustration that would come later.

My primary struggle with creativity is that I have a vision in my mind of what I want to make - and despite making plans and drawing a roadmap for myself - figuring out how to manifest my vision is a total mystery.  The only way to begin is to simply set the fear and insecurity aside and… begin.  This isn’t the most difficult part of the creative process, but it’s high on the list.  (See The War of Art by Steven Pressfield)

Of course once I begin making something, a rollercoaster of emotions follows.  This is exciting.  This is going so much better than I thought it would.  I love this thing I’m making so much.  What was I so afraid of?  This is fun.  I forgot how much fun this is.  Wait a second… what’s this?  Oh shit… a road block.  Ugh.  I’m stuck.  Now where do I go?  Oh god, what if I can’t finish this thing?  What if only I think this is good and no one else thinks this is good?  You know what… I’m not sure this is good anymore.  What was I thinking?  This is stupid.  This isn’t any good.  Maybe I shouldn’t finish this.

And then the rollercoaster recycles itself.

After spending thousands of hours over the course of years and even decades… the creative process gets easier, right?  The only thing that gets easier is letting go of the notion that things get easier.

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